haha

Hi diary... How r u? Been long time huh? Bet u r dying to meet me :)... Well, sorry, been bz before and after the ied, as u know I'm handling the concept, sales, making sales plan, production target for vector?, no hard feeling k? Hahaahahaha.. Feels like I'm a teenager! 

teriakku!

Apa yg ku cari? Kekayaan? Mungkin ya, mungkin tidak, tidak pernah ku paksakan keinginan untuk terus menjadi "lebih" kaya, aku sederhana, punya uang belanja, gak punya uang gapapa,.. Kusisihkan buat keluarga, mamah, anak2ku ( anak kakak2ku, anak adikku ), untuk anak didikku M dan T di panti...
Ketenangan? Bukan, aku tidak bersahabat dengan tenang. Aku lapang, lapar, merintih sejenak, terluka dan berpihak hidup, menantang maut, tidak aman, tidak nyaman. Aman dan Nyaman itu bosan.. Ku lihat diri, dan terus beranjak... Sendiri... Ku bebas berdiri, lantang berteriak, bergelut dengan waktu, masih, disisa hidupku... Ku bukan sebagian orang, menanti hidup dan siap menghadap mati.. Aku disini, mati dan hidup bukanlah inti, aku ikhlas seperti pantai, dihempas ombak tanpa henti! Aku, petualang! Ku mungkin terkapar, mati dan sendiri.. Tapi, pernahkah kau dengar aku berkeluh kesah? Aku dihantam palu hidup tepat di kepala, rajam di lutut, batu di kakiku, kerikil di mataku.. Ku mungkin merintih, tapi berkeluh kesahkah aku? Nanah di telapak kaki, darah di pelipis mata, ku jatuh terkulai, pernah ku biarkan itu menghalangi? Aku tidak tabah, aku bukan kuat, aku tidak kokoh, aku hanya seorang petualang!

sumthing i realize..

Hope u read this..
If i never told u dat u're a good girl, You Are
If i never told u dat i've forgiven u for things u did,
i have...
If i never told u i love u, i do...
If i never let u know u're such a blessing to me, well..
You are.. And U'll always be...

perfect song for exhausting revelation, still fighting

Yesterday_Today_Tomorrow_Always

Bayang-bayang
By Dewa 19

Saat ku terlena, dalam buaian mimpi
Kucoba tuk menghalau rasa cinta yg pernah ada, semakin ku terbawa oleh pesona dirimu

Saat ku terjaga, dalam khayalan semu
Kucoba tuk meraih, angan mu usik mimpiku, tapiku tak berdaya...

Bayang-bayangmu kasih slalu hadir dalam gelisahku
Nada-nada asmara kan terhilang sekilas kau ada
Bayang-bayangmu kasih mewarnai asa dalam duka
Nada-nada asmara kan terhilang sekejap kau lepas

Saat kuterbayang, wajah anggun angkuhmu, kucoba tuk menjauh saat2 dekat denganmu, melupakan dirimu

gile bayang... benar2 gile bayang

The voice has gone slowly,
But the shadow keeps appearing, in every blink of my sore and worry eyes,
Cudn't find my courage to step away, to walk away from the memories..

tired

Now, i feel so tired, feeling is not young as i it used to be,
For all the dating i have skipped, sick of say no, even yes to
i know it will end soon, juz trying to state my feeling here... Drown by the river of
Job schedules.. No space to be in lurveeee... Feel lonely tho,... Ivana is at medan now, she will be at jakarta
tomorrow, with her seems everything is OK, but I'm afraid it won't last long... We're not dating
but she "completes" me, or i complete her :)...iv, if u read this, can you stop by
When you're free and spend a nite with me.. TALKING.. :)

compose 1_ raw

My one nite song... Shud write it down and record, before i forget...

I've been dying to forget
The taste, the smell, the all we had
They say that nothing lasts forever
But you're here means all the matter

Listening to the morning breeze
Which composed of thousand memories
And then the rhythm and the rhyme
Think to neglect but it's a crime

Reff :
i can't forget, really won't forget
This heart is just forever
This love just means together
i swear to stay, for all the breath to share
They say that nothing lasts forever
But you're here means all the matter